EIGHT GOLDEN RULES FOR INSTIGATING CHANGE IN PEOPLE without giving them a hard time...
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
It is always easier for any one of us to accept criticism after we've received some praise. So if you wish to criticize, do it after you've given the person some honest praise and appreciation.
A manager noticed that his secretary was in the habit of not coming to work on time. He had also noticed that she is always very presentable in appearance. So he started, "you always dress very nicely, you do our company's image a lot of good." The secretary blushed and was flattered. He then said, "I would just appreciate it if you were more punctual." And from that day on she was as sharp as a clock.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
It is a normal human trait to not take criticism easily, but there is a way by which you can criticize and not be hated for it. That way is to criticize indirectly.
A sales manager saw one day that his sales force in the store were chatting among themselves and didn't notice the woman that was waiting to be served. He did not call on them but rather served the lady himself and handed them the purchase to be wrapped. They got the message very clearly and appreciated his manner in dealing with the matter.
Another manager wanted to keep three employees from smoking indoors. He bought each one an expensive cigar, and handed the cigars to them while they were smoking. They were very happy with the gift. He then said, "could you just please smoke them outside?" Naturally, they never smoked indoors again.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing
Another way to help people accept their mistakes and try to change is by humbly admitting that you yourself are not flawless. Before bringing their attention to their fault, mention the similar faults of your own.
An engineer's secretary used to often type his letters with spelling mistakes. Until one day when he received a letter that had mistakes, he sat her down and said, "being an engineer, I was never noted for my English skills, but because our letters give an impression about us I had to pay close attention to changing that fact about me. I started carrying around a pocket dictionary." They sat together and fixed all the spelling mistakes in that letter, and ever since she made significantly less spelling mistakes.
4. Ask questions instead of direct orders
People tend to dislike taking orders.
A very successful businessman was noted by his workers for never telling someone "do this", or "don't do that." He would always say things like, "you might consider�" or "what do you think about�" or "do you think this would work?"
Asking questions like that and not giving orders saves a person's pride and gives them a feeling of importance. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
5. Don't hurt a person's pride
At a business meeting once an employee was to present a report to her boss and co-workers. She had made a mistake in her research and mentioned it and told everyone that the research needed to be redone. Her manager could have scolded her and criticized her mistake and hurt her pride in front of everyone present.
Instead, he said, "It is not unusual to make mistakes when working on a new project, I have confidence that the next report will be accurate and reliable, and I know that this mistake was due to lack of experience and not lack of ability." The woman walked out of the meeting determined to never let her boss down again.
Even when someone is definitely wrong, you will only destroy their ego by hurting their pride.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and be specific
When an employee has done a good job or improved in any way, take the time to recognize his or her efforts. Be specific, point out what it is exactly that made their work superior. Everybody likes to be praised but when it is specific it comes across as sincere, and not just something another person is saying to make one feel good.
Sincere and specific praise can work as an exceptional motivator.
7. Give the person a reputation to live up to
When you have something to ask of someone, start by giving them a reputation to live up to.
A sales person had finished an unsuccessful sales call with an existing client about a new product. He was very upset. He went back and said, "Since I left this morning I realized I did not give you the entire picture and I would appreciate some of your time to tell you the points I omitted. I have respected the fact that you are always willing to listen and are big enough to change your mind when the facts warrant a change." Naturally, he was granted another hearing.
8. Make the fault seem easy to correct
If you ever tell an employee that they are doing everything wrong or that they are stupid at doing a certain thing, then you've destroyed every chance that this person tries to improve. However, if you encourage them and tell them that it is easy and that they just need to develop the knack for it and show them you have faith in their ability, then they will try ten times as hard to do it right.
These rules don't guarantee that you will always get people to do the things you want but they sure will increase you chances. Again, and it cannot be stressed enough, all these rules must be applied with sincerity. That is the only way they can be effective
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
control of 5 senses is necessary
A disciple and his teacher were walking through the forest. The disciple was disturbed by the fact that his mind was in constant unrest.
He asked his teacher, "Why most people's minds are restless, and only a few possess a calm mind? What can one do to still the mind?"
The teacher looked at the disciple, smiled and said, "I will tell you a story. An elephant was standing and picking leaves from a tree. A small fly came, flying and buzzing near his ear. The elephant waved it away with his long ears. Then the fly came again, and the elephant waved it away once more."
This was repeated several times. Then the elephant asked the fly, "Why are you so restless and noisy? Why can't you stay for a while in one place?"
An elephant and a Fly
The fly answered: "I am attracted to whatever I see, hear or smell. My five senses pull me constantly in all directions and I cannot resist them. What is your secret? How can you stay so calm and still?"
The elephant stopped eating and said, "My five senses do not rule my attention. Whatever I do, I get immersed in it. Now that I am eating, I am completely immersed in eating. In this way I can enjoy my food and chew it better. I rule and control my attention, and not the other way around."
Upon hearing these words, the disciple's eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face. He looked at his teacher and said, "I understand! If my five senses are in control of my mind and attention, then my mind is in constant unrest. If I am in charge of my five senses and attention, then my mind becomes calm."
"Yes, that's right", answered the teacher, "The mind is restless and goes wherever the attention is. Control your attention, and you control your mind."
He asked his teacher, "Why most people's minds are restless, and only a few possess a calm mind? What can one do to still the mind?"
The teacher looked at the disciple, smiled and said, "I will tell you a story. An elephant was standing and picking leaves from a tree. A small fly came, flying and buzzing near his ear. The elephant waved it away with his long ears. Then the fly came again, and the elephant waved it away once more."
This was repeated several times. Then the elephant asked the fly, "Why are you so restless and noisy? Why can't you stay for a while in one place?"
An elephant and a Fly
The fly answered: "I am attracted to whatever I see, hear or smell. My five senses pull me constantly in all directions and I cannot resist them. What is your secret? How can you stay so calm and still?"
The elephant stopped eating and said, "My five senses do not rule my attention. Whatever I do, I get immersed in it. Now that I am eating, I am completely immersed in eating. In this way I can enjoy my food and chew it better. I rule and control my attention, and not the other way around."
Upon hearing these words, the disciple's eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face. He looked at his teacher and said, "I understand! If my five senses are in control of my mind and attention, then my mind is in constant unrest. If I am in charge of my five senses and attention, then my mind becomes calm."
"Yes, that's right", answered the teacher, "The mind is restless and goes wherever the attention is. Control your attention, and you control your mind."
The ego is like the rose
The ego is like the rose and also like the thorns which surround the rose. It takes the place of the thorns when it is not cultivated, and it becomes a rose when it is refined.
When the ego remains in the condition of a thorn, more thorns come; and more and more, till it increases its thorns to such an extent that everyone who touches that person is dissatisfied.
In what way do these thorns manifest? They manifest in the form of words, of actions, of desires, in the form of manner. Why does one feel annoyed with certain people in life, even before they have uttered one word? Because the thorn is pricking.
Perhaps that person will say, ‘But I have not said anything, I have not done anything,’ but he does not know that he has thorns; there are perhaps so many that even before he utters one word, before he moves, his presence pricks us. It is a natural outcome of the ego.
Either the ego develops thorns, or it develops into a rose; and when it develops into a rose, then everyone is attracted to it because of its beautiful petals, its delicacy, its fragrance, its color, its softness, its structure.
Everything about it is attractive, appealing, and healing. For every soul there are four stages to pass through in order to come to the culmination of the ego, which means to reach the stage of the rose.
The first stage is that a person is rough, thoughtless and inconsiderate. He is interested in what he wants and in what he likes; as such he is naturally blind to the needs and wants of others.
In the second stage a man is decent and good as long as his interests are concerned. As long as he can get his wish fulfilled he is pleasant and kind and good and harmonious; but if he cannot get his wish and cannot have his way, then he becomes rough and crude and changes completely.
And there is a third stage, when someone is more concerned with another person’s wish and desire, and less with himself; when his whole heart is seeking for what he can do for another. In his thought the other person comes first and he comes after wards.
That is the beginning of turning into the rose.
It is only a rosebud, but then in the fourth stage this rosebud blooms in the person who entirely forgets himself in doing kind deeds for others.
When the ego remains in the condition of a thorn, more thorns come; and more and more, till it increases its thorns to such an extent that everyone who touches that person is dissatisfied.
In what way do these thorns manifest? They manifest in the form of words, of actions, of desires, in the form of manner. Why does one feel annoyed with certain people in life, even before they have uttered one word? Because the thorn is pricking.
Perhaps that person will say, ‘But I have not said anything, I have not done anything,’ but he does not know that he has thorns; there are perhaps so many that even before he utters one word, before he moves, his presence pricks us. It is a natural outcome of the ego.
Either the ego develops thorns, or it develops into a rose; and when it develops into a rose, then everyone is attracted to it because of its beautiful petals, its delicacy, its fragrance, its color, its softness, its structure.
Everything about it is attractive, appealing, and healing. For every soul there are four stages to pass through in order to come to the culmination of the ego, which means to reach the stage of the rose.
The first stage is that a person is rough, thoughtless and inconsiderate. He is interested in what he wants and in what he likes; as such he is naturally blind to the needs and wants of others.
In the second stage a man is decent and good as long as his interests are concerned. As long as he can get his wish fulfilled he is pleasant and kind and good and harmonious; but if he cannot get his wish and cannot have his way, then he becomes rough and crude and changes completely.
And there is a third stage, when someone is more concerned with another person’s wish and desire, and less with himself; when his whole heart is seeking for what he can do for another. In his thought the other person comes first and he comes after wards.
That is the beginning of turning into the rose.
It is only a rosebud, but then in the fourth stage this rosebud blooms in the person who entirely forgets himself in doing kind deeds for others.
Prayer to God in Calmer Moments
There is a story of about a Sea Captain who in his retirement skippered a boat taking day-trippers to the Shetland Islands. On one trip, the boat was full of young people. They laughed at the old Captain when they saw him say a prayer before sailing out because the day was fine and the sea was calm.
However they were not long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. The terrified passengers came to the Captain and asked him to join them in prayer. But he replied, 'I say my prayers when it's calm. When it's rough I attend to my ship.'
Here is a lesson for us......
If we cannot and will not seek God in quiet moments of our lives, we are not likely to find Him when trouble strikes. We are more likely to panic. But if we have learnt to seek Him and trust Him in quiet moments, then most certainly we will find Him when the going gets rough
However they were not long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. The terrified passengers came to the Captain and asked him to join them in prayer. But he replied, 'I say my prayers when it's calm. When it's rough I attend to my ship.'
Here is a lesson for us......
If we cannot and will not seek God in quiet moments of our lives, we are not likely to find Him when trouble strikes. We are more likely to panic. But if we have learnt to seek Him and trust Him in quiet moments, then most certainly we will find Him when the going gets rough
Some Quotes
"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot;
But make it hot by striking."
-
William B. Sprague
"It is hard to fail,
But it is worse never to have tried to succeed."
-
Theodore Roosevelt
"Fortune favors the brave."
-
Publius Terence
"Nothing can stop the man
with the right mental attitude
from achieving his goal;
Nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude."
-
W.W. Ziege
"There is only one success –
To be able to spend your life in your own way."
-
Christopher Morley
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing –
That's why we recommend it daily."
-
Zig Ziglar
"That some achieve great success,
Is proof to all that others can achieve it as well. "
- Abraham Lincoln
But make it hot by striking."
-
William B. Sprague
"It is hard to fail,
But it is worse never to have tried to succeed."
-
Theodore Roosevelt
"Fortune favors the brave."
-
Publius Terence
"Nothing can stop the man
with the right mental attitude
from achieving his goal;
Nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude."
-
W.W. Ziege
"There is only one success –
To be able to spend your life in your own way."
-
Christopher Morley
People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing –
That's why we recommend it daily."
-
Zig Ziglar
"That some achieve great success,
Is proof to all that others can achieve it as well. "
- Abraham Lincoln
Change your thinking, change your life.
A leader must build a winning spirit, encouraging employee's enthusiasm. A positive environment urges employees to use their energy and talents to compel the company toward productivity. The powers to influence, inspire, and move people to share their talents fall upon the leader. Being a truthful, honest and positive role model is the only way to motivate your team toward a productive relationship, working together for the good of all.
A Leaders Ten Steps to a Winning Spirit:
1. Believe in Yourself - Know that you are unique and only you can provide certain talents. Realize that you are enough; you don't have to be more.
2. Don't Live with the Status Quo - Become energized by new ambitions and excitement for living.
3. Challenge the Odds and Be Bold - Shake off worries and anxiety, becoming confident and free from personal limitations. You can make a difference.
4. Be Open to New Ideas - Recognize that you can learn from others. Be open to what others are offering, being flexible and adaptable.
5. Practice Specific Leader Behaviors - Leaders are not born, but have to practice the qualities of other successful leaders.
6. Visualize Your Success as a Leader - In order to have a winning spirit, you must see yourself as a leader. Have a successful result in mind.
7. Maintain Focus - You have power over your thoughts, and can change your life by changing your attitude. Focus on winning.
8. Discipline Yourself - Replace your inner conflicts into calmness and accept a rich life. Don't waste your time on things that don't matter.
9. Enjoy Today - Do not worry about tomorrow. You can plan for the future, but enjoy today. Live the day that is right in front of you to the fullest.
10. Practice Being Positive - Your positive thought will be mirrored right back to you.
These ten steps are pivotal to instilling a winning spirit in both yourself and your employees. Following these proactive leadership behaviours will bring your organization a competitive edge. The right mix of leadership qualities and styles will pull the company together not only in the good times, but in the times of crisis, as well. It all stems upon a strong organizational performance, climate, and positive engagement of the workforce.
winning attitude sets your mood and dictates your tempo. It provides motivation and keeps you moving in a positive direction towards the fulfillment of your goals and aspirations. It stabilizes your focus and soothes your spirit, especially in times of trouble and uncertainty. It picks you up when you get knocked down and provides direction when you lose your way.
A Leaders Ten Steps to a Winning Spirit:
1. Believe in Yourself - Know that you are unique and only you can provide certain talents. Realize that you are enough; you don't have to be more.
2. Don't Live with the Status Quo - Become energized by new ambitions and excitement for living.
3. Challenge the Odds and Be Bold - Shake off worries and anxiety, becoming confident and free from personal limitations. You can make a difference.
4. Be Open to New Ideas - Recognize that you can learn from others. Be open to what others are offering, being flexible and adaptable.
5. Practice Specific Leader Behaviors - Leaders are not born, but have to practice the qualities of other successful leaders.
6. Visualize Your Success as a Leader - In order to have a winning spirit, you must see yourself as a leader. Have a successful result in mind.
7. Maintain Focus - You have power over your thoughts, and can change your life by changing your attitude. Focus on winning.
8. Discipline Yourself - Replace your inner conflicts into calmness and accept a rich life. Don't waste your time on things that don't matter.
9. Enjoy Today - Do not worry about tomorrow. You can plan for the future, but enjoy today. Live the day that is right in front of you to the fullest.
10. Practice Being Positive - Your positive thought will be mirrored right back to you.
These ten steps are pivotal to instilling a winning spirit in both yourself and your employees. Following these proactive leadership behaviours will bring your organization a competitive edge. The right mix of leadership qualities and styles will pull the company together not only in the good times, but in the times of crisis, as well. It all stems upon a strong organizational performance, climate, and positive engagement of the workforce.
winning attitude sets your mood and dictates your tempo. It provides motivation and keeps you moving in a positive direction towards the fulfillment of your goals and aspirations. It stabilizes your focus and soothes your spirit, especially in times of trouble and uncertainty. It picks you up when you get knocked down and provides direction when you lose your way.
Monday, October 5, 2009
How to Make Your Boss Adore You and Keep Your Job
Instructions
Step 1
Focus on getting the job done right, on schedule, and only work late when you really have to.
While you may think that by staying late into the evening you're impressing your boss, you could actually be tarnishing your image. When your boss sees you working late or hears you talking about your long hours on the job, he may begin to wonder why you can't get the job done during your regular work hours. Worse yet, he may begin looking at you as "self-serving. "
Believe it or not, your boss wants you to be happy. A happy employee is a loyal employee, who is more prone to produce better work. And a happy employee is one who isn't forced to work day and night.
Step 2
Remember that your boss is a living, breathing person who has a pulse, and probably a family. In other words, bosses are mere mortals just like you. They too have supervisors they need to answer to, and sometimes can get overwhelmed.
If you can recognize that your boss may need help from time to time, and you have the ability to offer it, you will definitely notice an improvement in your relationship. The key is to know when to offer help. You don't want your boss thinking you're trying to muscle your way into her position, so play it smart and offer the help when you can tell she needs it most. Sometimes, the smallest gesture (or lack of it) can make a dramatic difference come performance review time.
Step 3
Just like on the Reality TV show, "Project Runway," in the workplace you're either in or you're out. In a '90s "Harvard Business Review," it was discovered that within five days of meeting, a supervisor will sort employees into two categories: those who are in and those who are out.
Needless to say, the "ins" typically receive the accolades and promotions. The "outs" will toil endlessly and remain static. If you are currently in the "outs," you need to fix the problem--fast!
Since your supervisor won't be calling to discuss the issue with you, you need to be proactive and ask to schedule a meeting with him. Talk out your issues and show why you believe you have been mislabeled. Just like when two kids duke it out on the playground, afterward, the two of you will have a new-found respect for each other.
Step 4
Don't make false promises or sugarcoat things. When your boss asks you a question, give her the facts, even when you know it's not what she wants to hear. An employee who is honest and truthful in every situation, is an employee who will not likely get fired before employees who act otherwise.
Give it to her straight; don't allow personal feelings about other employees to interfere and don't walk on glass around your boss' feelings. Your boss knows that the truth is what's best for the company, and she'll appreciate your honesty.
Step 5
Treat your boss like he has all the answers (although you may think you know more about your job than your boss, and in some cases you probably do). Many supervisors like being asked to help solve a particularly difficult dilemma. It boosts their ego to know that only they have the insight to come up with the solution. After all, that's WHY they're the boss!
Just be careful not to overdo it. If you go to your boss for help with every problem under the sun, you will begin to look like an employee who can't handle his responsibilities. Do your job and ask your boss for help with a difficult problem every once in a while. It shows that you are willing to learn and that you aren't afraid to ask for help from those who "know more" than you do.
Step 6
Provide relevant information in the format your boss can absorb best. For some, it may be via the printed page, and for others it may be through an email. Some may comprehend the information better through a face-to-face meeting. It may take some time to figure out which avenue your boss prefers her information, but once you know, be sure to use it. And don't be afraid of providing too much information. For most bosses, they can never receive too much information.
Step 7
Be proactive in your own opportunity for advancement. Take initiative and ask for more responsibility (if you can handle it). Remember, your boss doesn't want to hear false promises. But, if you can manage more responsibility or you want to take a stab at a higher profile job task, ask for it. If you can prove yourself, you'll be making great strides toward a future promotion--and you'll be showing your boss just how valuable you really are.
Step 8
Be cordial to everyone at work, share a smile and be positive. Nothing can bring a workplace atmosphere down to the ground like a negative person. Nobody wants to hear someone complain all day and nobody wants to look at your scowl all day either. A happy worker makes the workplace a happier environment- -and your boss will definitely like having you around.
Step 9
Dress for success. One way is to dress in a similar manner as your boss. If your boss wears a nicely tailored suit to each board meeting, you should do the same. It builds an instant camaraderie. Just don't try to overshadow your boss by wearing a more expensive suit or clone his look down to the socks! That will definitely work against you. Besides, those socks may have been the only clean ones he could find, and would never be caught dead in them otherwise.
Step 10
Socialize with your boss, but know your limits. You can initiate an offer by saying to your boss, "Hey, a bunch of us are going to such-and-such for lunch, care to join us?" This will tell the boss that you enjoy her company on a personal level and that you wish to include her in your inner-circle.
However, if you should come across your boss during off-work hours, it's best to keep your meeting polite, but brief. You don't want to come across as overbearing. Employees who are "too friendly" with their boss are always looked upon negatively by their coworkers and in the eyes of their boss, may appear overeager.
Step 1
Focus on getting the job done right, on schedule, and only work late when you really have to.
While you may think that by staying late into the evening you're impressing your boss, you could actually be tarnishing your image. When your boss sees you working late or hears you talking about your long hours on the job, he may begin to wonder why you can't get the job done during your regular work hours. Worse yet, he may begin looking at you as "self-serving. "
Believe it or not, your boss wants you to be happy. A happy employee is a loyal employee, who is more prone to produce better work. And a happy employee is one who isn't forced to work day and night.
Step 2
Remember that your boss is a living, breathing person who has a pulse, and probably a family. In other words, bosses are mere mortals just like you. They too have supervisors they need to answer to, and sometimes can get overwhelmed.
If you can recognize that your boss may need help from time to time, and you have the ability to offer it, you will definitely notice an improvement in your relationship. The key is to know when to offer help. You don't want your boss thinking you're trying to muscle your way into her position, so play it smart and offer the help when you can tell she needs it most. Sometimes, the smallest gesture (or lack of it) can make a dramatic difference come performance review time.
Step 3
Just like on the Reality TV show, "Project Runway," in the workplace you're either in or you're out. In a '90s "Harvard Business Review," it was discovered that within five days of meeting, a supervisor will sort employees into two categories: those who are in and those who are out.
Needless to say, the "ins" typically receive the accolades and promotions. The "outs" will toil endlessly and remain static. If you are currently in the "outs," you need to fix the problem--fast!
Since your supervisor won't be calling to discuss the issue with you, you need to be proactive and ask to schedule a meeting with him. Talk out your issues and show why you believe you have been mislabeled. Just like when two kids duke it out on the playground, afterward, the two of you will have a new-found respect for each other.
Step 4
Don't make false promises or sugarcoat things. When your boss asks you a question, give her the facts, even when you know it's not what she wants to hear. An employee who is honest and truthful in every situation, is an employee who will not likely get fired before employees who act otherwise.
Give it to her straight; don't allow personal feelings about other employees to interfere and don't walk on glass around your boss' feelings. Your boss knows that the truth is what's best for the company, and she'll appreciate your honesty.
Step 5
Treat your boss like he has all the answers (although you may think you know more about your job than your boss, and in some cases you probably do). Many supervisors like being asked to help solve a particularly difficult dilemma. It boosts their ego to know that only they have the insight to come up with the solution. After all, that's WHY they're the boss!
Just be careful not to overdo it. If you go to your boss for help with every problem under the sun, you will begin to look like an employee who can't handle his responsibilities. Do your job and ask your boss for help with a difficult problem every once in a while. It shows that you are willing to learn and that you aren't afraid to ask for help from those who "know more" than you do.
Step 6
Provide relevant information in the format your boss can absorb best. For some, it may be via the printed page, and for others it may be through an email. Some may comprehend the information better through a face-to-face meeting. It may take some time to figure out which avenue your boss prefers her information, but once you know, be sure to use it. And don't be afraid of providing too much information. For most bosses, they can never receive too much information.
Step 7
Be proactive in your own opportunity for advancement. Take initiative and ask for more responsibility (if you can handle it). Remember, your boss doesn't want to hear false promises. But, if you can manage more responsibility or you want to take a stab at a higher profile job task, ask for it. If you can prove yourself, you'll be making great strides toward a future promotion--and you'll be showing your boss just how valuable you really are.
Step 8
Be cordial to everyone at work, share a smile and be positive. Nothing can bring a workplace atmosphere down to the ground like a negative person. Nobody wants to hear someone complain all day and nobody wants to look at your scowl all day either. A happy worker makes the workplace a happier environment- -and your boss will definitely like having you around.
Step 9
Dress for success. One way is to dress in a similar manner as your boss. If your boss wears a nicely tailored suit to each board meeting, you should do the same. It builds an instant camaraderie. Just don't try to overshadow your boss by wearing a more expensive suit or clone his look down to the socks! That will definitely work against you. Besides, those socks may have been the only clean ones he could find, and would never be caught dead in them otherwise.
Step 10
Socialize with your boss, but know your limits. You can initiate an offer by saying to your boss, "Hey, a bunch of us are going to such-and-such for lunch, care to join us?" This will tell the boss that you enjoy her company on a personal level and that you wish to include her in your inner-circle.
However, if you should come across your boss during off-work hours, it's best to keep your meeting polite, but brief. You don't want to come across as overbearing. Employees who are "too friendly" with their boss are always looked upon negatively by their coworkers and in the eyes of their boss, may appear overeager.
Learn Srategies to Cope with Being Unemployed, Plus Steps to Avoid Or Treat Depression.
Losing your job can be a traumatic and unsettling event, especially in tough economic times when the prospect of finding new work seems slim. With unemployment rates rising and stories about layoffs, downsizing, and cutbacks in the news every day, the stress from losing a job may build to the point where your mental health suffers and you experience depression.
A job loss means a major change in your daily routine, losing contact with people from work, and perhaps a change in how you see yourself. For some people, losing a job may be as devastating as losing a loved one or going through a divorce, and you might even experience the same type of feelings, including anger, denial, and depression. Depression can be the result of many contributing factors that can sometimes be difficult to distinguish, but if you are unemployed and living with financial insecurity, your situation may be serious enough to bring about depression.
Research has shown that job loss may be related to depression not only because of the financial burden it brings, but also because it affects your social status, self-esteem, mental and physical activity, and the ability to use your skills. According to Luc Chabot, MEd, a psychotherapist in Montreal and founder of Relais Expert-Conseil, a firm specializing in workplace issues, how well a job loss is handled depends on many factors: age, financial situation, your ability to deal with stress, and any emotional disorders you might already have. Here are ways to help you cope, as well as what to do if you can no longer cope on your own.
8 Ideas for Coping With Job Loss and Avoiding Depression
Be Realistic. Come to terms with why you lost your job. If you need to improve your skills to find a better job, now's the perfect time to get that training.
Manage Your Money. If you have the right to certain benefits, claim them as soon as you can to avoid getting behind financially. Make a plan for you and your family to reduce daily expenses.
Create a Daily Routine. Make a schedule of what you hope to accomplish each day, so that you maintain a regular routine. Include time for your job search, as well as exercise and leisure. Plan for the next day before you go to bed at night.
Get Emotional Support. Family, friends, and support groups can help you deal with the job loss. Speaking to people — networking — may help you find a new job.
Learn How to Manage Stress. Read a book or take a workshop. Meditate, visualize, and be patient by taking one step at a time.
Set Everyday Goals For Yourself. Just going to the library or having lunch with a friend can help you build your confidence, maintain relationships, and stay healthy.
Don't Isolate Yourself. Make sure to stay busy outside of your home to avoid added emotional stress.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle. Limit your smoking and your alcohol and caffeine intake. A regular schedule, eating well, and exercise will keep you fit for the next job.
Getting Professional Help for Depression
If the above strategies don't help and your problems feel overwhelming, speak to your doctor about depression treatment. He or she may suggest management strategies, such as taking medication and/or talking to a mental health specialist (a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker). Here are some issues you may want to bring up at a meeting with a mental health professional:
What do you think causes stress in your life? Include long-term and short-term stressors.
How are your family and yourself affected by this stress?
Do you have support available to help get through your situation, or make a positive impact on your life?
Are there obstacles preventing you from reducing the stress?
Are you willing to make major changes to reduce the stressful situation?
Have you tried without success to resolve your situation?
Can you accept this current situation and get on with your life?
Finding a new job can be a roller-coaster ride. But remember that success doesn't happen overnight and that you are not alone in feeling blue or scared.
Chabot recommends that "you first help yourself before anyone else. Don't be afraid to ask for help and discuss your personal issues. If you [still have a job and] know that major changes are going to occur in your workplace, get ahead of the situation by meeting with a counselor or an expert as soon as you feel overwhelmed. "
A job loss means a major change in your daily routine, losing contact with people from work, and perhaps a change in how you see yourself. For some people, losing a job may be as devastating as losing a loved one or going through a divorce, and you might even experience the same type of feelings, including anger, denial, and depression. Depression can be the result of many contributing factors that can sometimes be difficult to distinguish, but if you are unemployed and living with financial insecurity, your situation may be serious enough to bring about depression.
Research has shown that job loss may be related to depression not only because of the financial burden it brings, but also because it affects your social status, self-esteem, mental and physical activity, and the ability to use your skills. According to Luc Chabot, MEd, a psychotherapist in Montreal and founder of Relais Expert-Conseil, a firm specializing in workplace issues, how well a job loss is handled depends on many factors: age, financial situation, your ability to deal with stress, and any emotional disorders you might already have. Here are ways to help you cope, as well as what to do if you can no longer cope on your own.
8 Ideas for Coping With Job Loss and Avoiding Depression
Be Realistic. Come to terms with why you lost your job. If you need to improve your skills to find a better job, now's the perfect time to get that training.
Manage Your Money. If you have the right to certain benefits, claim them as soon as you can to avoid getting behind financially. Make a plan for you and your family to reduce daily expenses.
Create a Daily Routine. Make a schedule of what you hope to accomplish each day, so that you maintain a regular routine. Include time for your job search, as well as exercise and leisure. Plan for the next day before you go to bed at night.
Get Emotional Support. Family, friends, and support groups can help you deal with the job loss. Speaking to people — networking — may help you find a new job.
Learn How to Manage Stress. Read a book or take a workshop. Meditate, visualize, and be patient by taking one step at a time.
Set Everyday Goals For Yourself. Just going to the library or having lunch with a friend can help you build your confidence, maintain relationships, and stay healthy.
Don't Isolate Yourself. Make sure to stay busy outside of your home to avoid added emotional stress.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle. Limit your smoking and your alcohol and caffeine intake. A regular schedule, eating well, and exercise will keep you fit for the next job.
Getting Professional Help for Depression
If the above strategies don't help and your problems feel overwhelming, speak to your doctor about depression treatment. He or she may suggest management strategies, such as taking medication and/or talking to a mental health specialist (a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker). Here are some issues you may want to bring up at a meeting with a mental health professional:
What do you think causes stress in your life? Include long-term and short-term stressors.
How are your family and yourself affected by this stress?
Do you have support available to help get through your situation, or make a positive impact on your life?
Are there obstacles preventing you from reducing the stress?
Are you willing to make major changes to reduce the stressful situation?
Have you tried without success to resolve your situation?
Can you accept this current situation and get on with your life?
Finding a new job can be a roller-coaster ride. But remember that success doesn't happen overnight and that you are not alone in feeling blue or scared.
Chabot recommends that "you first help yourself before anyone else. Don't be afraid to ask for help and discuss your personal issues. If you [still have a job and] know that major changes are going to occur in your workplace, get ahead of the situation by meeting with a counselor or an expert as soon as you feel overwhelmed. "
Sparks of Purity
Words! They are all around me! I see them. I use them. Harsh words, soothing words, biting words; words that give pain and sorrow; words that give joy and pleasure. They are vital to communication. When words are spoken there are reactions, negative or positive. Either thoughts are triggered or emotions fired or actions performed. Words colour our behaviour. And how lovely it is to hear words that are calm and free from rancour and aggression. To hear words that lift the soul and leave it with renewed vigour. Such words are the sparks of purity. It is important to remember that my speech indicates what is in my mind. As the thinking, so the words uttered. Mental calmness makes my words calm. A pure mind makes for pure words. It is said that speech may exalt someone to kingship or send him to the gallows. I should never let myself indulge in false, bitter and vicious speech. My words should reflect my true, inner nature, that of purity and peace. Words, once spoken, can never be recalled. They reverberate all around, beyond our control. Today, as I utter words, what effect will they have on those who hear them? Will they be the words that are poisonous and cause pain? Or will my tongue be like that of the nightingale, sweet and so, so very soothing and lovely to the ear?
No matter what you may be doing you are always free to whisper your love to God, until you consciously receive His response. This is the surest way to contact Him in the mad rush of present-day life.
"Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something, hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication."Roger Staubach
No matter what you may be doing you are always free to whisper your love to God, until you consciously receive His response. This is the surest way to contact Him in the mad rush of present-day life.
"Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something, hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication."Roger Staubach
The Package
A married lady was expecting a birthday gift from her husband. For many months she had admired a beautiful diamond ring in a showroom, and knowing her husband could afford it, she told him that was all she wanted.
As her birthday approached, this lady awaited signs that her husband had purchased the diamond ring.Finally, on the morning of her birthday, her husband called her into his study room. Her husband told her how proud he was to have such a good wife, and told her how much he loved her. He handed her a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, the wife opened the box and found a lovely,leather- bound Bible, with the wife's name embossed in gold. & Angrily, she raised her voice to her husband and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible? and stormed out of the house, leaving her husband.
Many years passed and the married lady was very successful in business.!She managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a wonderful family, but realized her ex-husband was very old, and thought perhaps she should go to visit him.She had not seen him for many years.
But before she could make arrangements, she received a telegram telling her that her ex-husband had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to her. She needed to come back immediately and take care of things.
When she arrived at her ex-husband's house, sudden sadness and regret filled her heart. She began to search through her ex-husband's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as she had left it years ago With tears, she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
Her ex-husband had carefully underlined a verse, Matthew 7:11, "And if you, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children,how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him? As she read those words, a tiny package dropped from the back of the Bible.
It had a diamond ring with her name engraved on it, the same diamond ring which she saw at the showroom. On the tag was the date of her birth, and the words...'LUV U ALWAYS'...
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others.
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not have; but remember that what you now have, was once among the things you only hoped for.
IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKAGED THE WAY YOU WANT IT, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKAGED THE WAY IT IS!
ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO BIGGER THINGS
As her birthday approached, this lady awaited signs that her husband had purchased the diamond ring.Finally, on the morning of her birthday, her husband called her into his study room. Her husband told her how proud he was to have such a good wife, and told her how much he loved her. He handed her a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, the wife opened the box and found a lovely,leather- bound Bible, with the wife's name embossed in gold. & Angrily, she raised her voice to her husband and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible? and stormed out of the house, leaving her husband.
Many years passed and the married lady was very successful in business.!She managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a wonderful family, but realized her ex-husband was very old, and thought perhaps she should go to visit him.She had not seen him for many years.
But before she could make arrangements, she received a telegram telling her that her ex-husband had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to her. She needed to come back immediately and take care of things.
When she arrived at her ex-husband's house, sudden sadness and regret filled her heart. She began to search through her ex-husband's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as she had left it years ago With tears, she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
Her ex-husband had carefully underlined a verse, Matthew 7:11, "And if you, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children,how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him? As she read those words, a tiny package dropped from the back of the Bible.
It had a diamond ring with her name engraved on it, the same diamond ring which she saw at the showroom. On the tag was the date of her birth, and the words...'LUV U ALWAYS'...
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others.
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not have; but remember that what you now have, was once among the things you only hoped for.
IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKAGED THE WAY YOU WANT IT, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKAGED THE WAY IT IS!
ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO BIGGER THINGS
How To Write An Objective For Resume
When you are crafting your resume, you need to know how to write an objective for the resume. An objective is basically what you are hoping to achieve in the job or career field that you want to get into. It says why you got into this field, why you are so passionate about it, and what you can do for the company or the career area.
Some people feel like there is no need to include an objective on your resume. However, it can be helpful in showing your passion for your career field and can let a potential employer know why you are passionate about the job in the first place. Either way, knowing how to write an objective for your resume is a very important part of the job seeking process.
The first part you should know about in learning how to write an objective for a resume is that you must use words that are always positive but not too flowery. Speak from your heart and avoid using any euphemisms of any kind and be sure that your objective sounds very professional. It should state why you got into the field in the first place and why you want to continue in the same field.
On the other hand, if you are switching careers, your objective statement should say why you wanted to get into another field and what makes you so excited to do so. You should state what you are hoping to accomplish in this new career and why you know you can accomplish it!
When writing your objective statement, you should be brief. This is a sentence or two about why you want a job in this career field. It should show a potential employer why he or she should hire you even if you do not have a lot of experience in the field you are applying for.
Knowing how to write an objective for a resume is an important part of "putting your best foot forward" so that the person who is reading your resume wants to read the rest of it. It is kind of like when you begin a new novel. The first line is so important, it has to hook the reader and make them want to read on. The same applies to your objective statement on your resume. You should make your potential employer want to read more about you based on your objective statement.
Some people feel like there is no need to include an objective on your resume. However, it can be helpful in showing your passion for your career field and can let a potential employer know why you are passionate about the job in the first place. Either way, knowing how to write an objective for your resume is a very important part of the job seeking process.
The first part you should know about in learning how to write an objective for a resume is that you must use words that are always positive but not too flowery. Speak from your heart and avoid using any euphemisms of any kind and be sure that your objective sounds very professional. It should state why you got into the field in the first place and why you want to continue in the same field.
On the other hand, if you are switching careers, your objective statement should say why you wanted to get into another field and what makes you so excited to do so. You should state what you are hoping to accomplish in this new career and why you know you can accomplish it!
When writing your objective statement, you should be brief. This is a sentence or two about why you want a job in this career field. It should show a potential employer why he or she should hire you even if you do not have a lot of experience in the field you are applying for.
Knowing how to write an objective for a resume is an important part of "putting your best foot forward" so that the person who is reading your resume wants to read the rest of it. It is kind of like when you begin a new novel. The first line is so important, it has to hook the reader and make them want to read on. The same applies to your objective statement on your resume. You should make your potential employer want to read more about you based on your objective statement.
Tips for workplace relationships
Relationships with your co-workers demand a strong sense of balance. In many ways, they are less flexible than friendships and romances. When something isn't working, walking away isn't always a valid option, and emotional outbursts are hardly advisable. In fact, your relationships with your boss, co-workers and subordinates are probably most like those with your family members - you may not always get along, but you can't really avoid them. And just like in the world outside the workplace, it's usually your communication style that makes the difference between putting up with the people you work around versus building relationships that work for you.
Respect authority
Okay, so you need to respect your boss, but remember to stick to your guns. When your boss disagrees with you, what they say is generally what goes - even if it's wrong. If you're in a position to modestly point out the virtues of doing things your way, do so, but that doesn't mean you have to do a 180 if the boss says "no." When they turn the schedule upside down, or suggest a potentially disastrous rewrite to that memo, calmly assent to the changes without making an about-face on your own opinion.
That way, you manage to avoid playing the "yes-man or yes-ma'am" game. And if for some reason your boss's way wasn't the best way, you're not stuck backing a plan you weren't really behind. Communication choices are also essential. When the boss issues a questionable directive, avoid responses like "Okay, but this will never work" and "You're right. That's a much better plan that mine." Instead, try responses that are agreeable, but not necessarily in agreement like, "Alright, we can try that" or "That's another way to go."
Treat coworkers with respect
You can get along with others and still respect your own authority. Speak to your subordinates as you would any other coworker, but expect cooperation. Requests are almost always more effective than demands. You'd be surprised how much more respect "please" and "thank you" attracts versus, "Do I have to do everything?" Abusing authority sends the message that you don't actually have it - or are uncomfortable managing it. Also, displays of temper are very counter-productive.
People are more productive, and generally more cooperative, when treated with respect. They are also more comfortable communicating their ideas, which may prove valuable to you in the long run. On the other hand, if you're reasonable and courteously worded requests are disregarded, don't let it slide. Make sure to have a discussion with your subordinate - while maintaining courtesy - about their lack of cooperation or insubordination the first time it occurs. Try asking what you can do to facilitate the task, or why they are having a difficult time. This way you maintain authority without becoming unnecessarily argumentative. You've also managed to put the ball in their court, so that further problems can merit stronger action.
Be friendly and get back to work
In the workplace, your coworkers probably comprise the majority of your human contact. Friendships will naturally develop and bleed into your social life, which is healthy. Having appropriate personal, as well as professional, relationships at work can make work both more productive and more enjoyable. However, it is important that the roles you play after hours remain outside of work. You may be able to gush for hours over drinks, but avoid bringing your personal lives back into the office.
And as comfortable as you are letting loose sometimes, don't forget to respect boundaries once you re-don your professional roles. As long as your social circle can survive the fluctuations between casual and work environments, it can enrich your work, as well as your life. Also, remember that it's a lot easier to censor information before you share it than after. As tempting as it can be to unload your grievances about the establishment with your coworkers, your vent session may be more appropriately (and confidentially) shared with your non-work friends.
Of course, at some point or another most of us will struggle with coworkers with whom we are less than friendly. Again, you probably don't have the luxury of avoiding them, so try to view them as a challenge to your professionalism. Imagine your coworkers as utilities with strengths and weaknesses you must navigate. A person may be a dreadful multitasker, but perhaps that is offset by their attention to detail. Or maybe they have problems expressing requests respectfully, but can always be counted on to manage a difficult customer. It can be challenging, but concentrating on their strengths and weaknesses, rather than your personal differences, can help you maintain the distance you need for your professional relationships to thrive.
Respect authority
Okay, so you need to respect your boss, but remember to stick to your guns. When your boss disagrees with you, what they say is generally what goes - even if it's wrong. If you're in a position to modestly point out the virtues of doing things your way, do so, but that doesn't mean you have to do a 180 if the boss says "no." When they turn the schedule upside down, or suggest a potentially disastrous rewrite to that memo, calmly assent to the changes without making an about-face on your own opinion.
That way, you manage to avoid playing the "yes-man or yes-ma'am" game. And if for some reason your boss's way wasn't the best way, you're not stuck backing a plan you weren't really behind. Communication choices are also essential. When the boss issues a questionable directive, avoid responses like "Okay, but this will never work" and "You're right. That's a much better plan that mine." Instead, try responses that are agreeable, but not necessarily in agreement like, "Alright, we can try that" or "That's another way to go."
Treat coworkers with respect
You can get along with others and still respect your own authority. Speak to your subordinates as you would any other coworker, but expect cooperation. Requests are almost always more effective than demands. You'd be surprised how much more respect "please" and "thank you" attracts versus, "Do I have to do everything?" Abusing authority sends the message that you don't actually have it - or are uncomfortable managing it. Also, displays of temper are very counter-productive.
People are more productive, and generally more cooperative, when treated with respect. They are also more comfortable communicating their ideas, which may prove valuable to you in the long run. On the other hand, if you're reasonable and courteously worded requests are disregarded, don't let it slide. Make sure to have a discussion with your subordinate - while maintaining courtesy - about their lack of cooperation or insubordination the first time it occurs. Try asking what you can do to facilitate the task, or why they are having a difficult time. This way you maintain authority without becoming unnecessarily argumentative. You've also managed to put the ball in their court, so that further problems can merit stronger action.
Be friendly and get back to work
In the workplace, your coworkers probably comprise the majority of your human contact. Friendships will naturally develop and bleed into your social life, which is healthy. Having appropriate personal, as well as professional, relationships at work can make work both more productive and more enjoyable. However, it is important that the roles you play after hours remain outside of work. You may be able to gush for hours over drinks, but avoid bringing your personal lives back into the office.
And as comfortable as you are letting loose sometimes, don't forget to respect boundaries once you re-don your professional roles. As long as your social circle can survive the fluctuations between casual and work environments, it can enrich your work, as well as your life. Also, remember that it's a lot easier to censor information before you share it than after. As tempting as it can be to unload your grievances about the establishment with your coworkers, your vent session may be more appropriately (and confidentially) shared with your non-work friends.
Of course, at some point or another most of us will struggle with coworkers with whom we are less than friendly. Again, you probably don't have the luxury of avoiding them, so try to view them as a challenge to your professionalism. Imagine your coworkers as utilities with strengths and weaknesses you must navigate. A person may be a dreadful multitasker, but perhaps that is offset by their attention to detail. Or maybe they have problems expressing requests respectfully, but can always be counted on to manage a difficult customer. It can be challenging, but concentrating on their strengths and weaknesses, rather than your personal differences, can help you maintain the distance you need for your professional relationships to thrive.
The one who is responsible is the one who constantly has good wishes.
To be responsible means to recognise the importance of one's own role. That means there is the understanding that others' transformation is dependent on one's own transformation. When there is the recognition of one's responsibility, there is naturally alertness. This alertness brings good wishes for even the ones who are not being positive.
When I am able to maintain good feelings for all those I come into contact with me, I find my relations gradually improving. I also find that I am ready to take up the challenge of changing myself before I can think of changing others. Due to this, others continue to take inspiration from me and bring about a change in themselves too.
When I am able to maintain good feelings for all those I come into contact with me, I find my relations gradually improving. I also find that I am ready to take up the challenge of changing myself before I can think of changing others. Due to this, others continue to take inspiration from me and bring about a change in themselves too.
SWEET DREAMS - SWEEP DREAMS
“Removal of ignorance is like this, Oh Arjuna, if dream and sleep disappear, you are yourself. It is like that” –Sri Sai Satcharitra, Ch. XXXIX, L.
A poor man and his wife remained childless for several years after their marriage. At last, a son was born to them, and their joy knew no bounds. He was truly the apple of their eyes.
All of a sudden, the boy fell seriously ill. The parents did everything they could to treat him and cure him. Every last penny they had, was spent on him – but to no avail. His illness could not even be diagnosed, and the child died.
The mother was overwrought with grief. She wept and wailed in profound misery. The father, however, remained calm.
“How can you be so indifferent?” wept his wife. “Don’t you feel miserable at the loss of our only child?”
“Last night, I had dream,” her husband replied. “I dreamt that I was a king, and a proud father of five handsome princes – wise, well-behaved, bright. All the five were killed on the same day in a war, as they tried to save their country.”
The poor man asked his wife gently, “Tell me, for I am puzzled. Should I grieve over the death of my princes whom I lost in my dream, or for the one I have lost here, in this life?”
How true it is that this life is a dream. Only a few blessed ones who realize the Truth awake from this dream.
A poor man and his wife remained childless for several years after their marriage. At last, a son was born to them, and their joy knew no bounds. He was truly the apple of their eyes.
All of a sudden, the boy fell seriously ill. The parents did everything they could to treat him and cure him. Every last penny they had, was spent on him – but to no avail. His illness could not even be diagnosed, and the child died.
The mother was overwrought with grief. She wept and wailed in profound misery. The father, however, remained calm.
“How can you be so indifferent?” wept his wife. “Don’t you feel miserable at the loss of our only child?”
“Last night, I had dream,” her husband replied. “I dreamt that I was a king, and a proud father of five handsome princes – wise, well-behaved, bright. All the five were killed on the same day in a war, as they tried to save their country.”
The poor man asked his wife gently, “Tell me, for I am puzzled. Should I grieve over the death of my princes whom I lost in my dream, or for the one I have lost here, in this life?”
How true it is that this life is a dream. Only a few blessed ones who realize the Truth awake from this dream.
Tolerance
Everybody is right from their own stand point ... hence the need for tolerance.
When God does not respond to your prayers, it is because you are not in earnest. If you offer Him dry imitation prayers, you cannot expect to claim the Heavenly Father's attention. The only way to reach God through prayer is by persistence, regularity, and depth of earnestness. Cleanse your mind of all negation, such as fear, worry, anger; then fill it with thoughts of love, service, and joyous expectation. In the sanctum of your heart there must be enshrined one power, one joy, one peace -- God
"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."
When God does not respond to your prayers, it is because you are not in earnest. If you offer Him dry imitation prayers, you cannot expect to claim the Heavenly Father's attention. The only way to reach God through prayer is by persistence, regularity, and depth of earnestness. Cleanse your mind of all negation, such as fear, worry, anger; then fill it with thoughts of love, service, and joyous expectation. In the sanctum of your heart there must be enshrined one power, one joy, one peace -- God
"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."
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