Familiarize Yourself With these Five Common Barriers to Change So You Can Stay On Track:
1. Ownership: It’s easier to pass the buck than to stand up as a leader and take over responsibilities that may not even be yours.
2. Time: Change always takes longer than estimated. Add 50 percent to 100 percent more time to your expectations.
3. Difficulty: When a task appears to be easy, you may set yourself up for disappointment and frustration if you miscalculate the time required to complete it. Anticipate troubles, and give yourself credit for small victories.
4. Distractions: When the going gets tough, as it will, it’s easy to be distracted by competing goals, other interests and priorities. Anticipate how easily you can become distracted; you’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to regain your focus.
5. Maintenance: Once you expend all of the effort needed to achieve a change goal, be willing to face reality. It takes time for the new to become habitual. Give up too soon, and you’re back to square one. Maintenance requires vigilance and perseverance— more than you may think.
Thanks to Coach John G. Agno
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A Pleasant Day
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, Because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, And they can become your blessings.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something, For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations, Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge, Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes.They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary, Because it means you've made a difference.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, And they can become your blessings.
Workplace Learning - Types Of Anxiety
The young man Shin Dong Hyuk was born and raised in a North Korean prison camp. When he was 14, his mother and brother tried to escape. They failed, and so Shin was forced to watch their executions. His mother was publicly hanged, while his brother was shot nine times. Shin’s indoctrination was such that he felt no pity for them whatsoever.
World-renowned psychologist, Edgar Schein, discovered that there are two types of anxiety associated with learning and development: Learning Anxiety and Survival Anxiety.
Learning Anxiety is when people are too afraid to learn something new. They’re scared it might be too difficult; they’re fearful it’ll fail; and they’re worried they’ll be perceived as a traitor by the groups in which they belong. Shin was suffering from extreme learning anxiety because of the total control that the North Korean regime exerted over his whole life. That’s why he reacted so callously to his family’s executions. To change was unfathomable.
Survival Anxiety is when people finally realize that, in order to make it, they have no choice but to change. By the time he was 22, Shin became the only person to ever escape from that prison camp. He’d made the decision to get out when a new inmate shared stories of what the outside world was like. Together, they ran off, and even though his mate became stuck in the electrified fence and died, Shin was able to jump over and defected to the South.
Behavioral change occurs when survival anxiety is greater than learning anxiety. There are two ways you can do this. You can increase your employees’ survival anxiety, which includes threats and intimidation to get staff to do what you want. Or the second option is to decrease their level of learning anxiety, which is the creation of a safe learning environment.
It’s difficult to get rid of learning anxiety entirely, but here's how you can reduce it:
Credibility: The facilitator needs to be someone believable and trustworthy.
Positive Incentives: Benefits of the training need to be articulated and understood.
Group Support: People are more comfortable learning with their peers.
Follow-up: Training is not enough, so include coaching and other reinforcement.
Method: The training should be tailored to suit every learning style, and just as importantly, the major ‘attention styles’. The two are very different.
Many people are reluctant learners. They attend training not because they want to, but because they have to. By reducing their learning anxiety, you give employees one less reason to escape.
Thanks to James Adonis
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Did You Know
Almost 75 percent of new graduates say that training and development is the most important factor for them when choosing a new employer. 68 percent even say they'd happily accept less money if it meant they'd get more training.
Source: TMP Worldwide
Thanks to James Adonis
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Quote
"Learning is a lifetime process, but there comes a time when we must stop adding and start updating." ~~~ Robert Brault
Thanks to James Adonis
World-renowned psychologist, Edgar Schein, discovered that there are two types of anxiety associated with learning and development: Learning Anxiety and Survival Anxiety.
Learning Anxiety is when people are too afraid to learn something new. They’re scared it might be too difficult; they’re fearful it’ll fail; and they’re worried they’ll be perceived as a traitor by the groups in which they belong. Shin was suffering from extreme learning anxiety because of the total control that the North Korean regime exerted over his whole life. That’s why he reacted so callously to his family’s executions. To change was unfathomable.
Survival Anxiety is when people finally realize that, in order to make it, they have no choice but to change. By the time he was 22, Shin became the only person to ever escape from that prison camp. He’d made the decision to get out when a new inmate shared stories of what the outside world was like. Together, they ran off, and even though his mate became stuck in the electrified fence and died, Shin was able to jump over and defected to the South.
Behavioral change occurs when survival anxiety is greater than learning anxiety. There are two ways you can do this. You can increase your employees’ survival anxiety, which includes threats and intimidation to get staff to do what you want. Or the second option is to decrease their level of learning anxiety, which is the creation of a safe learning environment.
It’s difficult to get rid of learning anxiety entirely, but here's how you can reduce it:
Credibility: The facilitator needs to be someone believable and trustworthy.
Positive Incentives: Benefits of the training need to be articulated and understood.
Group Support: People are more comfortable learning with their peers.
Follow-up: Training is not enough, so include coaching and other reinforcement.
Method: The training should be tailored to suit every learning style, and just as importantly, the major ‘attention styles’. The two are very different.
Many people are reluctant learners. They attend training not because they want to, but because they have to. By reducing their learning anxiety, you give employees one less reason to escape.
Thanks to James Adonis
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Did You Know
Almost 75 percent of new graduates say that training and development is the most important factor for them when choosing a new employer. 68 percent even say they'd happily accept less money if it meant they'd get more training.
Source: TMP Worldwide
Thanks to James Adonis
============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Quote
"Learning is a lifetime process, but there comes a time when we must stop adding and start updating." ~~~ Robert Brault
Thanks to James Adonis
Leadership: The Basis for Management by William P. Fisher Ph.D.
Leadership: The Basis for Management
by William P. Fisher Ph.D.
We all like to think we have some leadership qualities and strive to develop them. We look at leaders in all walks of life seeking to identify which qualities, traits and skills they possess so we can emulate them. A fundamental question remains "What is the essence of leadership that results in successful management, as opposed to failed management?" At least part of the answer can be found within the word itself.
1. Loyalty
Leadership starts with a loyalty quadrant: loyalty to one's organization and its mission; loyalty to organizational superiors; loyalty to subordinates and loyalty to oneself. Loyalty is multi-directional, running upwards and downwards in the organization. When everyone practices it, "loyalty bonds" occur which drive high morale. Loyalty to oneself is based on maintaining a sound body, mind and spirit so one is always "riding the top of the wave" in service to others.
2. Excellence
Leaders know that excellence is a value, not an object. They strive for both excellence and success. Excellence is the measurement you make of yourself in assessing what you do and how well you do it. Success is an external perception that others have of you.
3. Assertiveness
Leaders possess a mental and physical intensity that causes them to seek control, take command, assume the mantle of responsibility and focus on the objective(s) . Leaders do not evidence self-doubt as they are comfortable within themselves that what they are doing is right which, in turn, gives them the courage to take action.
4. Dedication
Leaders are dedicated in mind, body and spirit to their organization and to achievement. They are action-oriented, not passive, and prefer purposeful activity to the status quo. They possess an aura or charisma that sets them apart from others with whom they interact,
always working in the best interests of their organization.
5. Enthusiasm
Leaders are their own best cheerleaders on behalf of their organization and their people. They exude enthusiasm and instill it in others to the point of contagion. Their style may be one of poise, stability, clear vision and articulate speech, but their bristling enthusiasm underscores their every waking moment.
6. Risk Management
Leaders realize that risk taking is part of their management perch. They manage risk rather than letting it manage them, knowing full well there are no guaranteed outcomes, no foregone conclusions, no pre-ordained results when one is dealing with the future. Nonetheless, they measure risk, adapt to it, control it and surmount it.
7. Strength
Leaders possess an inner fiber of stamina, fortitude and vibrancy that gives them a mental toughness, causing them to withstand interruption, crises and unforeseen circumstances that would slow down or immobilize most people. Leaders become all the more energized in the face of surprises.
8. Honor
Leaders understand they will leave a legacy, be it good, bad or indifferent. True leaders recognize that all their relationships and actions are based on the highest standards of honor and integrity. They do the right things correctly, shun short-term improper expediency and set the example for others with high-mindedness, professional bearing and unassailable character.
9. Inspiration
Leaders don't exist without followers. People will follow leaders who inspire them to reach beyond the normal and ordinary to new levels of accomplishment, new heights of well-being and new platforms for individual, organizational and societal good. Inspiration is what
distinguishes a leader from a mere position holder, as the leader can touch the heart, mind and soul of others.
10.Performance
At the end of the day, leader/managers rise or fall on the most critical of all measurements - their performance. Results come first, but the way in which results are achieved is also crucial to sustaining a leader's role. Many "dictators" don't last despite results and many "charismatics" don't last despite personal charm.
Putting the ten elements together spell LEADERSHIP! Always remember, if you want to develop a leadership quality act as though you already possess it!
[About the Author: William P. Fisher, Ph.D., a member of Cayuga Hospitality Advisors, is the Darden Chair in the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the University of Central Florida in Orlando.]
by William P. Fisher Ph.D.
We all like to think we have some leadership qualities and strive to develop them. We look at leaders in all walks of life seeking to identify which qualities, traits and skills they possess so we can emulate them. A fundamental question remains "What is the essence of leadership that results in successful management, as opposed to failed management?" At least part of the answer can be found within the word itself.
1. Loyalty
Leadership starts with a loyalty quadrant: loyalty to one's organization and its mission; loyalty to organizational superiors; loyalty to subordinates and loyalty to oneself. Loyalty is multi-directional, running upwards and downwards in the organization. When everyone practices it, "loyalty bonds" occur which drive high morale. Loyalty to oneself is based on maintaining a sound body, mind and spirit so one is always "riding the top of the wave" in service to others.
2. Excellence
Leaders know that excellence is a value, not an object. They strive for both excellence and success. Excellence is the measurement you make of yourself in assessing what you do and how well you do it. Success is an external perception that others have of you.
3. Assertiveness
Leaders possess a mental and physical intensity that causes them to seek control, take command, assume the mantle of responsibility and focus on the objective(s) . Leaders do not evidence self-doubt as they are comfortable within themselves that what they are doing is right which, in turn, gives them the courage to take action.
4. Dedication
Leaders are dedicated in mind, body and spirit to their organization and to achievement. They are action-oriented, not passive, and prefer purposeful activity to the status quo. They possess an aura or charisma that sets them apart from others with whom they interact,
always working in the best interests of their organization.
5. Enthusiasm
Leaders are their own best cheerleaders on behalf of their organization and their people. They exude enthusiasm and instill it in others to the point of contagion. Their style may be one of poise, stability, clear vision and articulate speech, but their bristling enthusiasm underscores their every waking moment.
6. Risk Management
Leaders realize that risk taking is part of their management perch. They manage risk rather than letting it manage them, knowing full well there are no guaranteed outcomes, no foregone conclusions, no pre-ordained results when one is dealing with the future. Nonetheless, they measure risk, adapt to it, control it and surmount it.
7. Strength
Leaders possess an inner fiber of stamina, fortitude and vibrancy that gives them a mental toughness, causing them to withstand interruption, crises and unforeseen circumstances that would slow down or immobilize most people. Leaders become all the more energized in the face of surprises.
8. Honor
Leaders understand they will leave a legacy, be it good, bad or indifferent. True leaders recognize that all their relationships and actions are based on the highest standards of honor and integrity. They do the right things correctly, shun short-term improper expediency and set the example for others with high-mindedness, professional bearing and unassailable character.
9. Inspiration
Leaders don't exist without followers. People will follow leaders who inspire them to reach beyond the normal and ordinary to new levels of accomplishment, new heights of well-being and new platforms for individual, organizational and societal good. Inspiration is what
distinguishes a leader from a mere position holder, as the leader can touch the heart, mind and soul of others.
10.Performance
At the end of the day, leader/managers rise or fall on the most critical of all measurements - their performance. Results come first, but the way in which results are achieved is also crucial to sustaining a leader's role. Many "dictators" don't last despite results and many "charismatics" don't last despite personal charm.
Putting the ten elements together spell LEADERSHIP! Always remember, if you want to develop a leadership quality act as though you already possess it!
[About the Author: William P. Fisher, Ph.D., a member of Cayuga Hospitality Advisors, is the Darden Chair in the Rosen College of Hospitality Management at the University of Central Florida in Orlando.]
Monday, September 28, 2009
Do not ask GOD, Why me?
ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.
>From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
"The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,
500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,
when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'.
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "
"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...
Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.
>From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
"The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,
500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,
when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'.
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "
"Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
How to Have a Great Conversation with Anyone
How to Have a Great Conversation with Anyone
The art of conversation takes practice, and is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, and you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.
With these tips you will be well on your way to having a good, meaningful and entertaining conversation with anyone!
Make a good first impression.
Smile, ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer, and really listen. Maintain eye contact and keep as friendly and polite as possible.
Listen.
This is the most important part of any conversation. You might think a conversation is all about talking, but it will not go anywhere if the listener is too busy thinking of something to say next. Pay attention to what is being said. When you talk to the other person, injecting a thought or two, they will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
Find out what the other person is interested in.
You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
Ask questions.
What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their life? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.
Forget yourself.
Dale Carnegie once said, “It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.” If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
Practice active listening skills.
Part of listening is letting the other person know that you are listening. Make eye contact. Nod. Say “Yes,” “I see,” “That’s interesting,” or something similar to give them clues that you are paying attention and not thinking about something else - such as what you are going to say next.
Ask clarifying questions.
If the topic seems to be one they are interested in, ask them to clarify what they think or feel about it. If they are talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn from them. Everyone loves having a chance to teach another willing and interested person about their hobby or subject of expertise.
Paraphrase back what you have heard, using your own words.
This seems like an easy skill to learn, but takes some practice to master. Conversation happens in turns, each person taking a turn to listen and a turn to speak or to respond. It shows respect for the other person when you use your “speaking turn” to show you have been listening and not just to say something new. They then have a chance to correct your understanding, affirm it, or embellish on it.
Consider your response before disagreeing.
If the point was not important, ignore it rather than risk appearing argumentative. If you consider it important then politely point out your difference of opinion. Do not disagree merely to set yourself apart, but remember these points:
It is the differences in people–and their conversation–that make them interesting.
Agreeing with everything can kill a conversation just as easily as disagreeing with everything.
A person is interesting when they are different from you; a person is obnoxious when they can not agree with anything you say, or if they use the point to make themselves appear superior.
Try to omit the word “but” from your conversation when disagreeing as this word often puts people on the defensive. Instead, try substituting the word “and”, it has less of an antagonistic effect.
Consider playing devil’s advocate - which requires care.
If your conversation partner makes a point, you can keep the conversation going by bringing up the opposite point of view (introduce it with something like “I agree, and…”). If you overuse this technique, however, you could end up appearing disagreeable or even hostile.
Do not panic over lulls.
This is a point where you could easily inject your thoughts into the discussion. If the topic seems to have run out, use the pause to think for a moment and identify another conversation topic or question to ask them. Did something they said remind you of something else you have heard, something that happened to you, or bring up a question or topic in your mind? Mention it and you’ll transition smoothly into further conversation!
Know when the conversation is over.
Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Shake hands with the other person and be sure to tell them you enjoyed talking with them. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!
Warnings
Choose carefully when asking personal questions. You do not want to venture into overly personal issues. Even if the other person might be willing to talk about it, you may end up learning things that you really do not want to know. You certainly do not want the other person to think afterward that you coerced them into revealing personal information.
Be sincere! Compliments are great, but too much flattery is obvious and will reveal you as being insincere.
Beware of topics that can be inflammatory - such as religion and politics - and don’t venture into them unless you know the person has roughly the same convictions as you, or the circumstances otherwise allow for pleasant discussion. Again, it’s fine to disagree and can be nice to talk about differences, but it can also be a quick step toward an argument.
Try not to argue! You do not have to agree with everything someone says, but you do not have to tell them all about how you disagree. If you feel the need to explain an opposing viewpoint, express it simply and without putting the other person on the defensive. It is better to simply change the subject in a casual conversation than to get involved in an argument.
Try not to nod or respond with “Yes” and “I see” so much. It might make the person think you are bored and sometimes it may seem like you are rushing them along. Never say anything hurtful or offensive to the other person, this may project a bad feeling between you.
If it is a planned conversation, try listening to the news in case you run out of thing to say, it is always a good solution.
Also try not to cut the person off mid-sentence. It seems disrespectful and it makes it seem like what you have to say is more important than what the other person has to say. Let the person finish their thoughts and then continue on with thoughts of your own.
The art of conversation takes practice, and is not as hard as you might think. It will take some knowledge, practice, and patience, and you can learn to relax and enjoy a great conversation.
With these tips you will be well on your way to having a good, meaningful and entertaining conversation with anyone!
Make a good first impression.
Smile, ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer, and really listen. Maintain eye contact and keep as friendly and polite as possible.
Listen.
This is the most important part of any conversation. You might think a conversation is all about talking, but it will not go anywhere if the listener is too busy thinking of something to say next. Pay attention to what is being said. When you talk to the other person, injecting a thought or two, they will often not realize that it was they who did most of the talking, and you get the credit for being a good conversationalist - which of course, you are!
Find out what the other person is interested in.
You can even do some research in advance when you know you will have an opportunity to talk with a specific person. Complimenting them is a great place to start. Everyone likes sincere compliments, and that can be a great ice-breaker.
Ask questions.
What do they like to do? What sort of things have they done in their life? What is happening to them now? What did they do today or last weekend? Identify things about them that you might be interested in hearing about, and politely ask questions. Remember, there was a reason that you wanted to talk to them, so obviously there was something about them that you found interesting.
Forget yourself.
Dale Carnegie once said, “It’s much easier to become interested in others than it is to convince them to be interested in you.” If you are too busy thinking about yourself, what you look like, or what the other person might be thinking, you will never be able to relax. Introduce yourself, shake hands, then forget yourself and focus on them instead.
Practice active listening skills.
Part of listening is letting the other person know that you are listening. Make eye contact. Nod. Say “Yes,” “I see,” “That’s interesting,” or something similar to give them clues that you are paying attention and not thinking about something else - such as what you are going to say next.
Ask clarifying questions.
If the topic seems to be one they are interested in, ask them to clarify what they think or feel about it. If they are talking about an occupation or activity you do not understand, take the opportunity to learn from them. Everyone loves having a chance to teach another willing and interested person about their hobby or subject of expertise.
Paraphrase back what you have heard, using your own words.
This seems like an easy skill to learn, but takes some practice to master. Conversation happens in turns, each person taking a turn to listen and a turn to speak or to respond. It shows respect for the other person when you use your “speaking turn” to show you have been listening and not just to say something new. They then have a chance to correct your understanding, affirm it, or embellish on it.
Consider your response before disagreeing.
If the point was not important, ignore it rather than risk appearing argumentative. If you consider it important then politely point out your difference of opinion. Do not disagree merely to set yourself apart, but remember these points:
It is the differences in people–and their conversation–that make them interesting.
Agreeing with everything can kill a conversation just as easily as disagreeing with everything.
A person is interesting when they are different from you; a person is obnoxious when they can not agree with anything you say, or if they use the point to make themselves appear superior.
Try to omit the word “but” from your conversation when disagreeing as this word often puts people on the defensive. Instead, try substituting the word “and”, it has less of an antagonistic effect.
Consider playing devil’s advocate - which requires care.
If your conversation partner makes a point, you can keep the conversation going by bringing up the opposite point of view (introduce it with something like “I agree, and…”). If you overuse this technique, however, you could end up appearing disagreeable or even hostile.
Do not panic over lulls.
This is a point where you could easily inject your thoughts into the discussion. If the topic seems to have run out, use the pause to think for a moment and identify another conversation topic or question to ask them. Did something they said remind you of something else you have heard, something that happened to you, or bring up a question or topic in your mind? Mention it and you’ll transition smoothly into further conversation!
Know when the conversation is over.
Even the best conversations will eventually run out of steam or be ended by an interruption. Shake hands with the other person and be sure to tell them you enjoyed talking with them. Ending on a positive note will leave a good impression and likely bring them back later for more!
Warnings
Choose carefully when asking personal questions. You do not want to venture into overly personal issues. Even if the other person might be willing to talk about it, you may end up learning things that you really do not want to know. You certainly do not want the other person to think afterward that you coerced them into revealing personal information.
Be sincere! Compliments are great, but too much flattery is obvious and will reveal you as being insincere.
Beware of topics that can be inflammatory - such as religion and politics - and don’t venture into them unless you know the person has roughly the same convictions as you, or the circumstances otherwise allow for pleasant discussion. Again, it’s fine to disagree and can be nice to talk about differences, but it can also be a quick step toward an argument.
Try not to argue! You do not have to agree with everything someone says, but you do not have to tell them all about how you disagree. If you feel the need to explain an opposing viewpoint, express it simply and without putting the other person on the defensive. It is better to simply change the subject in a casual conversation than to get involved in an argument.
Try not to nod or respond with “Yes” and “I see” so much. It might make the person think you are bored and sometimes it may seem like you are rushing them along. Never say anything hurtful or offensive to the other person, this may project a bad feeling between you.
If it is a planned conversation, try listening to the news in case you run out of thing to say, it is always a good solution.
Also try not to cut the person off mid-sentence. It seems disrespectful and it makes it seem like what you have to say is more important than what the other person has to say. Let the person finish their thoughts and then continue on with thoughts of your own.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
HOW TO STAY FOCUSED IN LIFE
HOW TO STAY FOCUSED IN LIFE
In life, there are several distractions and always will be. It's up to us how we stay focused in our head and heart and follow our goals. Here are some tips to stay focused in life.
Time Management
· Firstly, accept the fact that you have only 24 hours and seven days a week.
· Hence, time management is very important as that will help you in achieving the maximum in minimum time and effort.
· Planning a week ahead on a Sunday is very useful. Write down the things to be done in a diary or a white board in order of priority.
· As far as possible, stick to the priority wise objectives and tick them once they're done.
· Initially, it may not be easy to stick to a plan, but you will gradually see your efficiency and productivity increasing and you will no longer run out of time.
Goal Management
· Set smaller, achievable goals. For instance, if you want to score a high percentage in your exams then your goals should be to study a few hours daily rather than finish studying an entire chapter. If you try and complete an entire subject, it may not only be difficult but it can leave you nervous and under-confident.
· Rate your performance on a scale of 1 to 10, but be honest to yourself.
· Compare your present performance with the past to check your progress.
· Only if you are able to judge yourself honestly can you push yourself to do better.
Personal Management
· Meditation and yoga can help you to concentrate and stay focused.
· Visualize success before dozing off to sleep and just when you wake up. Affirm success and ingrain it into your mind and body.
· Seek advice and guidance from a trusted person such as a parent, a senior, a teacher or a counselor.
· Accept the fact that there will always be distractions, there will be people doing better than you and may be 'luckier' than you. But you need not waste time on worrying; instead, use the time to better yourself.
· Study tactics used by successful people, maybe it can give you a hint.
In life, there are several distractions and always will be. It's up to us how we stay focused in our head and heart and follow our goals. Here are some tips to stay focused in life.
Time Management
· Firstly, accept the fact that you have only 24 hours and seven days a week.
· Hence, time management is very important as that will help you in achieving the maximum in minimum time and effort.
· Planning a week ahead on a Sunday is very useful. Write down the things to be done in a diary or a white board in order of priority.
· As far as possible, stick to the priority wise objectives and tick them once they're done.
· Initially, it may not be easy to stick to a plan, but you will gradually see your efficiency and productivity increasing and you will no longer run out of time.
Goal Management
· Set smaller, achievable goals. For instance, if you want to score a high percentage in your exams then your goals should be to study a few hours daily rather than finish studying an entire chapter. If you try and complete an entire subject, it may not only be difficult but it can leave you nervous and under-confident.
· Rate your performance on a scale of 1 to 10, but be honest to yourself.
· Compare your present performance with the past to check your progress.
· Only if you are able to judge yourself honestly can you push yourself to do better.
Personal Management
· Meditation and yoga can help you to concentrate and stay focused.
· Visualize success before dozing off to sleep and just when you wake up. Affirm success and ingrain it into your mind and body.
· Seek advice and guidance from a trusted person such as a parent, a senior, a teacher or a counselor.
· Accept the fact that there will always be distractions, there will be people doing better than you and may be 'luckier' than you. But you need not waste time on worrying; instead, use the time to better yourself.
· Study tactics used by successful people, maybe it can give you a hint.
FIVE-STEP GUIDE TO OVERCOMING FEAR
FIVE-STEP GUIDE TO OVERCOMING FEAR
Fear! It's one of the biggest obstacles keeping us from living life to the fullest. Most of our fears are irrational and unnecessary, yet we find it difficult to let go of them.
Here are 5 tips to help you overcome your fears and take control of your life.
Step 1: Identify your fear
Putting a name to your fear is the first and most essential step to overcoming it. Once you've identified your fear, it is easier to look at it like it's just another challenge that needs to be dealt with.
Step 2: Analyze your fear
Analyzing your fears will help you see just how irrational they are. List down reasons stating why it is unnecessary for you to be paralyzed by this fear. Then think of other people who aren't troubled by the fear at all, and ask yourself why is it that they aren't affected by this fear when you are.
Step 3: Put your fears into perspective
We tend to make mountains out of molehills when we're plagued with fear. It always helps to put matters into perspective and take an objective look at ourselves and our fears.
Step 4: Practice systematic desensitization
Many psychologists recommend this technique for overcoming fear. The idea is to get a little closer to the object of your fear each time you are around it. Get used to the way the fear makes you feel. Eventually, it will not have the capacity to create fearful emotions in you any more.
Step 5: Don't obsess over fear
Don't obsess over fearful or troubling thoughts. This can be challenging in itself, but is very necessary.
Fear! It's one of the biggest obstacles keeping us from living life to the fullest. Most of our fears are irrational and unnecessary, yet we find it difficult to let go of them.
Here are 5 tips to help you overcome your fears and take control of your life.
Step 1: Identify your fear
Putting a name to your fear is the first and most essential step to overcoming it. Once you've identified your fear, it is easier to look at it like it's just another challenge that needs to be dealt with.
Step 2: Analyze your fear
Analyzing your fears will help you see just how irrational they are. List down reasons stating why it is unnecessary for you to be paralyzed by this fear. Then think of other people who aren't troubled by the fear at all, and ask yourself why is it that they aren't affected by this fear when you are.
Step 3: Put your fears into perspective
We tend to make mountains out of molehills when we're plagued with fear. It always helps to put matters into perspective and take an objective look at ourselves and our fears.
Step 4: Practice systematic desensitization
Many psychologists recommend this technique for overcoming fear. The idea is to get a little closer to the object of your fear each time you are around it. Get used to the way the fear makes you feel. Eventually, it will not have the capacity to create fearful emotions in you any more.
Step 5: Don't obsess over fear
Don't obsess over fearful or troubling thoughts. This can be challenging in itself, but is very necessary.
START TODAY
START TODAY
One of the world's top leadership experts and the author of 10 international bestsellers on leadership and personal success, Robin Sharma says in his blog: "In my work as a success coach with people around the world, I've realized that lasting personal change does not require you to turn your life upside down. The best way to get to your greatness is through small, continuous steps-what I call the "1% Wins". If you improve your health only 1% each day for the next 30 days, you will see a 30% increase in that dimension of your life in only 1 month."
This should say it all. Whether it is losing weight, thinking positive, waking up early, making more money, working harder, having a happier home, a loving relationship, one step at a time is what it takes to reach the final goal. And though the goal may seem far away - 20 kgs to lose!, Even 50 gms a day would mean 0.5 kgs in 10 days, 1.5 kgs in a month, and 16 kgs in the year!
When you want to achieve something, whatever it may be, you can do it if you start taking the steps and simply keep the goal in mind. Do not look at the number of steps, because the goal may just seem further away, and the steps too many. Instead if you make a kick start and keep going never losing vision of your goal, you will achieve what you want before you know it! Start today...
One of the world's top leadership experts and the author of 10 international bestsellers on leadership and personal success, Robin Sharma says in his blog: "In my work as a success coach with people around the world, I've realized that lasting personal change does not require you to turn your life upside down. The best way to get to your greatness is through small, continuous steps-what I call the "1% Wins". If you improve your health only 1% each day for the next 30 days, you will see a 30% increase in that dimension of your life in only 1 month."
This should say it all. Whether it is losing weight, thinking positive, waking up early, making more money, working harder, having a happier home, a loving relationship, one step at a time is what it takes to reach the final goal. And though the goal may seem far away - 20 kgs to lose!, Even 50 gms a day would mean 0.5 kgs in 10 days, 1.5 kgs in a month, and 16 kgs in the year!
When you want to achieve something, whatever it may be, you can do it if you start taking the steps and simply keep the goal in mind. Do not look at the number of steps, because the goal may just seem further away, and the steps too many. Instead if you make a kick start and keep going never losing vision of your goal, you will achieve what you want before you know it! Start today...
ATTRACT SUCCESS BY SAYING 'YES'
ATTRACT SUCCESS BY SAYING 'YES'
Posted: 30 Aug 2009 06:25 AM PDT
Very often a lot of our successes and failures are governed by our primary approach to things. When we choose to accept situations and challenges with a mindset to fight them out rather than give up before we begin, we increase our chances of a win. Here is how saying 'yes' positively affects not only your mental make-up, but also those of the others around you, thus, helping you win battles and attract success:
1. It changes your perspective
When you say 'yes', you automatically change your perspective. You flip over from the negative or the undecided to the positive, seeing new possibilities.
2. It allows you to learn something new
A 'yes' is the first step of learning. Only if you agree to go through a new process or a new route will you give yourself the opportunity to learn something new. Who knows, you may even discover things that you really enjoy doing or paths that you may love to explore further.
3. You win the admiration of others
When you adopt the 'yes' attitude, it doesn't just pertain to the case at hand. Your outlook towards life becomes much more positive and the more you implement it, the more it becomes inherent in you. This clearly does not go unnoticed and hence makes you popular amongst not only those directly associated with you but even amongst those who are superficially connected with you.
4. It has no negatives
The 'yes' attitude aids in only gains and makes you lose nothing at all. It may involve taking risks and exploring the unexplored but more often than not, you have nothing to lose.
5. It puts you through a self-test
The reason a 'yes' attitude is the first step of success is because it allows you to test yourself and your capabilities. Agreeing to do something you haven't tried before or something that does not come easily to you lets you gauge your strengths and weaknesses, helping you discover more about yourself.
So go ahead and say 'YES' to challenges. Say 'YES' to success.
LEARN TO LET GO BUT DON'T GIVE UP!
Posted: 30 Aug 2009 06:25 AM PDT
Very often a lot of our successes and failures are governed by our primary approach to things. When we choose to accept situations and challenges with a mindset to fight them out rather than give up before we begin, we increase our chances of a win. Here is how saying 'yes' positively affects not only your mental make-up, but also those of the others around you, thus, helping you win battles and attract success:
1. It changes your perspective
When you say 'yes', you automatically change your perspective. You flip over from the negative or the undecided to the positive, seeing new possibilities.
2. It allows you to learn something new
A 'yes' is the first step of learning. Only if you agree to go through a new process or a new route will you give yourself the opportunity to learn something new. Who knows, you may even discover things that you really enjoy doing or paths that you may love to explore further.
3. You win the admiration of others
When you adopt the 'yes' attitude, it doesn't just pertain to the case at hand. Your outlook towards life becomes much more positive and the more you implement it, the more it becomes inherent in you. This clearly does not go unnoticed and hence makes you popular amongst not only those directly associated with you but even amongst those who are superficially connected with you.
4. It has no negatives
The 'yes' attitude aids in only gains and makes you lose nothing at all. It may involve taking risks and exploring the unexplored but more often than not, you have nothing to lose.
5. It puts you through a self-test
The reason a 'yes' attitude is the first step of success is because it allows you to test yourself and your capabilities. Agreeing to do something you haven't tried before or something that does not come easily to you lets you gauge your strengths and weaknesses, helping you discover more about yourself.
So go ahead and say 'YES' to challenges. Say 'YES' to success.
LEARN TO LET GO BUT DON'T GIVE UP!
Friendships enrich your life and improve your health
Friendships enrich your life and improve your health
Friendships are good for your health. During hardships, they are a source of comfort and strength. Learn how to find and nurture friendships and how to be a good friend.
They offer the shoulder to lean on. The good advice. The unspoken comfort. The good times and the shared laughter. Friendships offer all these benefits, and lots more. They boost your self-esteem, provide companionship, and even help protect your overall health and mental well-being.
It's not always easy to form the close bonds of friendships, though. It may be especially hard to develop and keep up friendships when your life is hectic work demands, family time, school. But friendships are important for both men and women. Take a minute to think about the friends in your life. Do you have close friends? Would you like to develop more friendships?
Why friendships are so important
Good friends are good for your health. Talking with a friend over a cup of coffee, going to a ballgame together, chatting while your kids romp on the playground, or hitting the links for a round of golf can offer simple but powerful ways to connect.
Benefits of friendships
The connections of friendship can:
· Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
· Boost your happiness
· Reduce stress
· Improve your self-worth
· Decrease your risk of serious mental illness
· Help you weather traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
· Encourage you to change unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
· Share in your good times, such as a new baby, a new job, a new house
Friends can celebrate the good times with you or offer comfort during the bad. Just knowing that friends are there for you can help you avoid unhealthy reactions to stressful situations.
Ways to actively seek out friendships
Some people benefit from large and diverse networks of friends, while others prefer a smaller circle of friends and acquaintances. You may have certain very close friends you rely on for deeply personal conversations, and more casual friendships for movies, a pickup game of basketball or backyard cookouts.
But many adults, especially men and those in troubled relationships, find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. For one thing, time may be short. Friendships may take a back seat to your other priorities, such as long days on the job, keeping up the house, or caring for aging parents. Or maybe you've moved to a new community and haven't yet found a way to meet people.
Developing good friendships does take some work. But remember that friends don't have to be your age or share a similar cultural, religious or educational background. And because friendships are so important to your overall sense of well-being, it's worth the time and effort to create friendships.
Meeting new people
Here are some ways you can develop friendships:
· Get out with your pet. Seek out a popular dog park, make conversation with those who stop to talk on your daily neighborhood jaunts, or make pet play dates.
· Work out. Join a class through a local gym, senior center or community fitness facility. Or start a lunchtime walking group at work.
· Do lunch. Invite an acquaintance to join you for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
· Accept invites. When you're invited to a party, dinner or social gathering, say yes. Resist the urge to say no just because you may not know everyone there or because you may initially feel awkward. You can always leave if you get too uncomfortable.
· Volunteer. Hospitals, places of worship, museums, community centers, charitable groups and other organizations often need volunteers. You can form strong connections when you work with people who share a mutual interest.
· Join a cause. Get together with a group of people working toward a goal you believe in, such as an election or the cleanup of a natural area.
· Join a hobby group. Find a nearby group with similar interests in such things as auto racing, music, gardening, books or crafts.
· Go back to school. Take a college or community education course to meet people with similar interests.
Hang out on your porch. Front porches used to be social centers for the neighborhood. If you don't have a front porch, you can still pull up a chair and sit out front with a cup of coffee or a good book. Making yourself visible shows that you are friendly and open.
· Join a church or faith community. Many churches and faith communities welcome new members.
You may not become instant friends the first time you meet someone. But the seeds of lasting friendships can be sown with something as simple as a friendly wave as you're mowing the lawn or bringing in the newspaper.
Keep friendships nurturing and healthy
Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give and take. Sometimes you're the one giving support to your friends, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them will help ensure that their support remains strong when times are rough. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.
Here are some ways to make sure your friendships remain healthy and supportive:
· Go easy. Don't overwhelm friends with phone calls or e-mails. Communication can be brief five minutes on the phone or several sentences in an e-mail. Find out how late or early you can call, and respect those boundaries. Do have a plan for crisis situations, when you may need to temporarily set aside such restrictions.
· Be aware of how others perceive you. Ask a friend for an honest evaluation of how you come across to others. Take note of any areas for improvement and work on them.
· Don't compete. Don't let a friendship turn into a hidden battle over who makes the most money, has the best clothes or the coolest car. Don't fight over other friends. This will only turn friendships into unhealthy rivalries.
· Adopt a healthy, realistic self-image. Both vanity and constant self-criticism can be turnoffs to potential friends.
· Resolve to improve yourself. Cultivating your own honesty, generosity and humility will enhance your self-esteem and make you a more compassionate and appealing friend.
· Avoid relentless complaining. Nonstop complaining is tiresome and draining on friendships. Talk to your friends about how you can change the parts of your life that you're unhappy about.
· Adopt a positive outlook. Try to find the humor in things. Laughter is infectious and appealing.
· Listen up. Make a point to ask what's going on in the lives of your friends. Don't talk about your own problems all the time. Friendships can't last when you're self-absorbed.
Friendships pay dividends
Friendships provide a sense of belonging and comfort. Friendships act as a buffer against life's hardships and help you develop resilience. They offer compassion and acceptance. And friendships can make you feel important and needed by giving you a chance to offer someone else comfort and companionship, too.
Relationships change as you age, but it's never too late to build new friendships or reconnect with old friends. The investment in your friends will pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come.
Friendships are good for your health. During hardships, they are a source of comfort and strength. Learn how to find and nurture friendships and how to be a good friend.
They offer the shoulder to lean on. The good advice. The unspoken comfort. The good times and the shared laughter. Friendships offer all these benefits, and lots more. They boost your self-esteem, provide companionship, and even help protect your overall health and mental well-being.
It's not always easy to form the close bonds of friendships, though. It may be especially hard to develop and keep up friendships when your life is hectic work demands, family time, school. But friendships are important for both men and women. Take a minute to think about the friends in your life. Do you have close friends? Would you like to develop more friendships?
Why friendships are so important
Good friends are good for your health. Talking with a friend over a cup of coffee, going to a ballgame together, chatting while your kids romp on the playground, or hitting the links for a round of golf can offer simple but powerful ways to connect.
Benefits of friendships
The connections of friendship can:
· Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
· Boost your happiness
· Reduce stress
· Improve your self-worth
· Decrease your risk of serious mental illness
· Help you weather traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
· Encourage you to change unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise
· Share in your good times, such as a new baby, a new job, a new house
Friends can celebrate the good times with you or offer comfort during the bad. Just knowing that friends are there for you can help you avoid unhealthy reactions to stressful situations.
Ways to actively seek out friendships
Some people benefit from large and diverse networks of friends, while others prefer a smaller circle of friends and acquaintances. You may have certain very close friends you rely on for deeply personal conversations, and more casual friendships for movies, a pickup game of basketball or backyard cookouts.
But many adults, especially men and those in troubled relationships, find it hard to develop new friendships or keep up existing friendships. For one thing, time may be short. Friendships may take a back seat to your other priorities, such as long days on the job, keeping up the house, or caring for aging parents. Or maybe you've moved to a new community and haven't yet found a way to meet people.
Developing good friendships does take some work. But remember that friends don't have to be your age or share a similar cultural, religious or educational background. And because friendships are so important to your overall sense of well-being, it's worth the time and effort to create friendships.
Meeting new people
Here are some ways you can develop friendships:
· Get out with your pet. Seek out a popular dog park, make conversation with those who stop to talk on your daily neighborhood jaunts, or make pet play dates.
· Work out. Join a class through a local gym, senior center or community fitness facility. Or start a lunchtime walking group at work.
· Do lunch. Invite an acquaintance to join you for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
· Accept invites. When you're invited to a party, dinner or social gathering, say yes. Resist the urge to say no just because you may not know everyone there or because you may initially feel awkward. You can always leave if you get too uncomfortable.
· Volunteer. Hospitals, places of worship, museums, community centers, charitable groups and other organizations often need volunteers. You can form strong connections when you work with people who share a mutual interest.
· Join a cause. Get together with a group of people working toward a goal you believe in, such as an election or the cleanup of a natural area.
· Join a hobby group. Find a nearby group with similar interests in such things as auto racing, music, gardening, books or crafts.
· Go back to school. Take a college or community education course to meet people with similar interests.
Hang out on your porch. Front porches used to be social centers for the neighborhood. If you don't have a front porch, you can still pull up a chair and sit out front with a cup of coffee or a good book. Making yourself visible shows that you are friendly and open.
· Join a church or faith community. Many churches and faith communities welcome new members.
You may not become instant friends the first time you meet someone. But the seeds of lasting friendships can be sown with something as simple as a friendly wave as you're mowing the lawn or bringing in the newspaper.
Keep friendships nurturing and healthy
Developing and maintaining healthy friendships involves give and take. Sometimes you're the one giving support to your friends, and other times you're on the receiving end. Letting friends know you care about them and appreciate them will help ensure that their support remains strong when times are rough. It's as important for you to be a good friend as it is to surround yourself with good friends.
Here are some ways to make sure your friendships remain healthy and supportive:
· Go easy. Don't overwhelm friends with phone calls or e-mails. Communication can be brief five minutes on the phone or several sentences in an e-mail. Find out how late or early you can call, and respect those boundaries. Do have a plan for crisis situations, when you may need to temporarily set aside such restrictions.
· Be aware of how others perceive you. Ask a friend for an honest evaluation of how you come across to others. Take note of any areas for improvement and work on them.
· Don't compete. Don't let a friendship turn into a hidden battle over who makes the most money, has the best clothes or the coolest car. Don't fight over other friends. This will only turn friendships into unhealthy rivalries.
· Adopt a healthy, realistic self-image. Both vanity and constant self-criticism can be turnoffs to potential friends.
· Resolve to improve yourself. Cultivating your own honesty, generosity and humility will enhance your self-esteem and make you a more compassionate and appealing friend.
· Avoid relentless complaining. Nonstop complaining is tiresome and draining on friendships. Talk to your friends about how you can change the parts of your life that you're unhappy about.
· Adopt a positive outlook. Try to find the humor in things. Laughter is infectious and appealing.
· Listen up. Make a point to ask what's going on in the lives of your friends. Don't talk about your own problems all the time. Friendships can't last when you're self-absorbed.
Friendships pay dividends
Friendships provide a sense of belonging and comfort. Friendships act as a buffer against life's hardships and help you develop resilience. They offer compassion and acceptance. And friendships can make you feel important and needed by giving you a chance to offer someone else comfort and companionship, too.
Relationships change as you age, but it's never too late to build new friendships or reconnect with old friends. The investment in your friends will pay off in better health and a brighter outlook for years to come.
Mental Health and Anger Management
Mental Health and Anger Management
What Is Anger?
Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance or disappointment.
It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.
Anger can be harmful or helpful, depending upon how it is expressed.
Knowing how to recognize and express anger in appropriate ways can help people to reach goals, handle emergencies, and solve problems.
However, problems can occur if people fail to recognize and understand their anger.
What Are the Dangers of Suppressed Anger?
Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression.
Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems.
Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems.
In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.
How Can I Manage Anger?
* When you start feeling angry, try deep breathing, positive self-talk, or stopping your angry thoughts. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply until the anger subsides.
* Although expressing anger is better than keeping it in, anger should be expressed in an appropriate way. Frequent outbursts of anger are often counter-productive and cause problems in relationships with others. Angry outbursts are also stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems and can make health problems worse. Learning how to use assertiveness is the healthy way to express your feelings, needs, and preferences. Being assertive can be used in place of using anger in these situations.
* Seek out the support of others. Talk through your feelings and try to work on changing your behaviors.
* If you have trouble realizing when you are having angry thoughts, keep a log of when you feel angry.
* Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another's place.
* Learn how to laugh at yourself and see humor in situations.
* Practice good listening skills. Listening can help improve communication and can facilitate trusting feelings between people. This trust can help you deal with potentially hostile emotions.
* Learn to assert yourself, expressing your feelings calmly and directly without becoming defensive, hostile, or emotionally charged. Consult self-help books on assertiveness or seek help from a professional therapist to learn how to use assertiveness and anger management skills.
What Else Can I Deal With My Anger in a Healthy Way?
If you believe that your anger is out of control and is having a negative affect on your life and relationships, seek the help of a mental health professional.
A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you to develop techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
A mental health professional can help you to deal with your anger in an appropriate way.
Choose your therapist carefully and make sure to seek treatment from a professional who is trained to teach anger management and assertiveness skills.
What Is Anger?
Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance or disappointment.
It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.
Anger can be harmful or helpful, depending upon how it is expressed.
Knowing how to recognize and express anger in appropriate ways can help people to reach goals, handle emergencies, and solve problems.
However, problems can occur if people fail to recognize and understand their anger.
What Are the Dangers of Suppressed Anger?
Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression.
Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems.
Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems.
In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.
How Can I Manage Anger?
* When you start feeling angry, try deep breathing, positive self-talk, or stopping your angry thoughts. Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply until the anger subsides.
* Although expressing anger is better than keeping it in, anger should be expressed in an appropriate way. Frequent outbursts of anger are often counter-productive and cause problems in relationships with others. Angry outbursts are also stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems and can make health problems worse. Learning how to use assertiveness is the healthy way to express your feelings, needs, and preferences. Being assertive can be used in place of using anger in these situations.
* Seek out the support of others. Talk through your feelings and try to work on changing your behaviors.
* If you have trouble realizing when you are having angry thoughts, keep a log of when you feel angry.
* Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another's place.
* Learn how to laugh at yourself and see humor in situations.
* Practice good listening skills. Listening can help improve communication and can facilitate trusting feelings between people. This trust can help you deal with potentially hostile emotions.
* Learn to assert yourself, expressing your feelings calmly and directly without becoming defensive, hostile, or emotionally charged. Consult self-help books on assertiveness or seek help from a professional therapist to learn how to use assertiveness and anger management skills.
What Else Can I Deal With My Anger in a Healthy Way?
If you believe that your anger is out of control and is having a negative affect on your life and relationships, seek the help of a mental health professional.
A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you to develop techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
A mental health professional can help you to deal with your anger in an appropriate way.
Choose your therapist carefully and make sure to seek treatment from a professional who is trained to teach anger management and assertiveness skills.
The Donkey and the Dog- Read and think-You may find one in your midst
The Donkey and the Dog- Read and think-You may find one in your midst
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story...
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) .
Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.
The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ...
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep too but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson.
The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly.
Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story...
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night.. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet.
The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dog's duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed "ME" (Met Expectations) .
Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around.
The donkey was rated as " star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards.
Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a NEW JOB ...
Disclaimer: All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional
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